You really can give your children too much. This is a very modern and very first-world problem, but it’s very much a problem. Sometimes, parents focus so much on helping out their children that they forget to let their children fight their own battles.
This is particularly applicable to RESPs or big-time events like weddings and down payments. Children have to learn to save their own money. You can help them, but don’t starve your own life to save money for your children.
This is so true. As difficult as it might be, a parent should spend the first 18 or so years of their child’s life slowly pulling back, helping them less and less as time goes on. You can think of it as a bar graph with two values — independence and dependence — as their dependence on you shrinks, their independence grows. I’m sure it becomes more difficult as your child grows older and their need for you dwindles, but it’s crucial that they are able to eventually take care of themselves.
That goes for financial independence, their ability to make tough decisions on their own, and just about every other aspect of life.
In other words, your success as a parent is in some part measured by how little your child needs you as they grow older.
➝ Source: toonie.substack.com